Christmas Joy

The year I started this blog I did posts on how much I love holidays and decorating and posted copiously about Halloween and even did a Thanksgiving post. But somehow I missed posting about all my Christmas decorations, and that’s where it all started. 😍

So here is a tour of my house all decorated for Christmas. 

First, the trees. For years I had a real tree in the “formal” living room and a small “Kid’s Tree” upstairs in the loft that had all their decorations from school. But a couple years ago I went fake. It was the best decision ever. I love not having to go search for a tree or having to clean up pine needles afterwards. And once I got one fake tree and saw how easy and fabulous that was, the next thing I knew I had 3: one for each living area, including the upstairs library/loft. 

The "main" tree in the formal living room

The tree in the living room

The loft/library tree

I can even see two trees from the kitchen. #love

Our outside decorations seem to change every year - except for the string across the top of the house that my neighbor puts up for me every year. 

The front yard

Me and Zoe in the front yard

My Villages have grown to 2 over the years.  I love making new scenes every year.  I would make villages in every room if this stuff wasn't so expensive. I could do another blog post about all the cute village houses and figures.  

The Foyer Village

The Loft Village

I even decorate the bathrooms. Honestly, these are the most fun rooms in the house to do. They’re so small that you can make a big decorative splash pretty easily. A holiday shower curtain is too fun.  I love these even more than my Halloween ones.  

Here are a few other pictures, or maybe more than a few.  This brings me joy.  

The china cabinet

The cedar chest

The dining room

The Kitchen

My bedroom

The loft

The fireplace

Santa's Coat Rack

More pictures

More knick-knacks

This is a picture of the room I keep all the decorations in when they are not up.  It is the 6th (and largest) bedroom in the house.

Halloween and Thanksgiving on the right, Christmas on the left.  There are also boxes in here for Easter, July 4th, St Patrick's Day, Fiesta, Summer and probably others I am forgetting. 


MERRY CHRISTMAS I cant wait for all the 70% off sales after the holidays so I can buy more.  #joy

Tiktok Therapy: A very Joyful Rant

For so long I resisted Tiktok. I suspected it would turn out be as unnecessary as Snapchat is, the most overrated text messaging app of all time. When my daughter would look at it on it on her phone it seemed filled with inane videos of nothing. I made fun of it. Oops.  

Because boy, was I so totally wrong. Completely. Tiktok is my favorite entertainment app ever. And now that I’m a convert, daughter Zoë has graciously avoided saying “I told you so” even once. She’s the epitome of the caring, tolerant Gen Z generation all the way. 

 

I can’t remember why I finally downloaded the app. I wish I could. I heard someone recently say they downloaded it around the time Trump was threatening to ban it just so they could have it (in case). That may have contributed, but I feel like I’d already been scrolling through videos at that point. But it really doesn’t matter because I became hooked pretty much instantly. Ultimately, I think there is one major primary reason I decided to get it: because social media (in fact pretty much all media) had become unbearable for me leading into the election. I was looking for a happy, mindless escape, and I found it! 

I felt like I did when FB first came out and I connected with all my old friends and family who lived far away. It was fabulous back then (not filled with negativity and conspiracies and judgement and superiority like now). During the election when I would sit down at the end of the day and tune into Facebook or Twitter to see what my friends were up to all I could really see were politics. Trump-this and Trump-that, pandemic-horror-story-here and pandemic-horror-story-there (and how it was some leader's fault, usually Trump). This was NOT what I needed after a day at work.  I don't watch much TV and while I read a lot of books in my free time, I needed something less hard.  ;)  

 

The first videos I saw on Tiktok were what Zoë later told me are “Dance Tiktok.” I was mesmerized. I found it highly entertaining. The more I “liked” these videos, the more poured into my feed. Young people energetically dancing - and teaching others how to dance (so much moon walking!) restored my faith in Gen Z, a group I was worried didn’t know how to dance at all. Again - I could not have been more wrong. 

 

Most of the dancers were men. Good looking men. I think this is what led to to more and more attractive men in my “for you “ feed. Is there a Really-nice-looking-guy Tiktok? I think I’m in it. This probably also led me to “Dating over 50” Tiktok which is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Men and women sharing dating horror stories with humor and intelligence. I just love it. 

 

Next came Cat Tiktok. There is nothing more soothing (to me) than watching a cute baby kitten that had been abandoned, rescued by the video creator drinking from a bottle for the first time for 60 long, satisfying seconds. Oh em gee, squeal, like, share, coo, scroll to the next video. Repeat.  Ingenious Cat Tiktok is also pretty enjoyable.  

 

It didn’t stop with just cats though. Anything furry and cute is good fun too. The videos where someone teaches a small animal like a squirrel to do things on command. What?! More more more please! 

 

I also love these Tiktoks: 

• Easy recipe Tiktok
• Gift wrapping Tiktok 
• North American husband (lololol)
• Joke routine lip syncs 
• Make up Tiktok- I don’t even need to try them - it’s enough to live vicariously through their epic art 
• Hair cutting/curling/styling - ditto
• Unemployed wine guy 
• Life hacks (I-saw-it-on-Tiktok Tiktok) like how to put on a duvet cover, which was mind blowing at my age (How-did-I-not-know-this-already Tiktok)

I even found a secret Santa gift on Tiktok of a prank meowing cat that was so fun to see play out at my work place. I also love the videos where the creator highlights something totally random that I totally agree with like this one.  

 

So my Tiktok review is this: The creativity! The humor! The intelligence! The clever and entertaining shit people come up with is just amazing. I can mindlessly scroll through Tiktok without a care in the world for hours laughing (days if I let myself), just fucking delighted. 

 

Thank you, Tiktok creators. You have restored my faith in social media.

 

Double Your Money in in the Richmond Challenge for Big Brothers Big Sisters

 “We should love each other – that means caring for our neighbors. Where those in mourning are comforted, where the hungry are fed, where the poor hear good news. Our foundation strives to give energy to those angels among us who are actively caring for such neighbors.” 

– Jack & Laura Richmond

               Founding board member, Harriette Furino, me, Julio Manso, former Little Brother and 2015 Board Chair with Jack and Laura Richmond

In 1984, I was a high school senior.  I didn’t know it, but so was Wade Richmond, the 18 year old son of Jack and Laura Richmond of the Richmond Family Foundation.  I never knew Wade and only learned about his tragic passing when I first met Jack Richmond in 2014.

We were in the midst of a capital campaign at Big Brothers Big Sisters of South Texas in 2014, and I was introduced to Jack by our campaign consultant.  While waiting for him in his conference room at that first meeting, I read Wade’s story, and although 30 years had passed, I was struck with sadness that I had gone on to live a full life after high school, while Wade had not. He died from a seizure at the age of 18.  

So when Jack asked us during that meeting if we wanted to participate in the $100,000 Richmond Foundation matching Grant Challenge the following year in 2015, I was deeply honored to accept. I knew that I was going to be raising money not only for the children in our program, but for Wade – to continue his legacy of support for the angels among us.  

As a parent, I can’t think of anything worse than losing a child.  Jack and Laura Richmond lost their beloved son on the cusp of Wade’s adulthood. I was truly inspired by how they moved forward after that heartbreak, to form the Richmond Family Foundation in 1998, and then the Wade Richmond Foundation a few years later.  They turned their tragedy into a world of opportunity for thousands of children and families served by all the nonprofits who have benefited from their matching challenge grants since 1998.  

We raised over $100,000 for the 2015 challenge, and one of the proudest moments of our capital campaign for me was when Jack and Laura came out to our old building downtown to present us with a check.*  We finished our capital campaign the following year and moved in to our Mentoring Center in October 2016.  Since then we have been able to implement all the program enhancements we told Jack about that first day in his conference room.  

Jack passed away earlier this year, right before COVID hit, but in 2019 he had once again invited us to participate in his Challenge, for August 2020.  And it turns out that if there was ever a year that Big Brothers Big Sisters needed a $100,000 matching grant – it would be this one. 

Fundraising has taken a big hit in COVID.  Big Brothers Big Sisters has had to cancel all of its annual fundraising events, and revenue is down in every budget category.  We are anticipating a year end deficit of anywhere between 10-21% of projected 2020 revenue. 

One of the ways we hope to close this gap is through the Richmond Matching Campaign in August 2020.  During August, we will be asking everyone to donate to this campaign, and their money will be doubled by the foundation!

Also happening in August is our new fundraising event: Car Wash for Kids Sake.  Anyone who donates to this event in August will also have their donation doubled. You can visit our website to learn about the Richmond Challenge or here to find out more about the Car Wash. 

We are determined to meet our matching goal and receive another one of these.  

*Everyone knows my favorite thing is a check presentation and I look forward to the one we will be having in September 2020 after all our supporters help us make our $100,000 match. I will miss Jack’s proud smiling face at that one though.  May he rest in peace. 

BONUS JACK STORY:  

Below is a picture of Big Brothers Big Sisters Chief Development Director, Hawthorne Farr with Jack at one of Jack's infamous Luby’s Kiwanis meetings.  Hawthorne and I were always happy to speak at these meetings whenever  Jack called. He was a true servant.

 

Reopening Our Volunteer Recruitment Efforts

When we reopen our offices on June 8th, Big Brothers Big Sisters of South Texas will have been closed for 85 days. That’s nearly a quarter of the year! A quarter of the year that we have been unable to provide over half of our services.  We are excited to get back to work, but a little worried about what the new normal looks like.  In the month of April we received only 18 inquires from potential volunteers (which is down from our monthly average of 100).  

Our program depends on volunteers for our mentoring services. There are over 1,200 mentors currently matched with youth in our program, but there are also hundreds more in the queue to receive a mentor.  We have worked really hard over the past 2 years to decrease the time a child waits before being matched to a Big Brother or Big Sister, and we don’t want the pandemic to impact this wait time any more than it has already.

We just launched a campaign to recruit 100 mentors from the military ranks over the 100 days of summer.  Information on that campaign can be found here.  A big thanks goes out to retired Air Force 4 star General ED Rice for his help on that campaign.  A video message from the general can be found in the link. 

We recruit Bigs from all walks of life, though, so you don’t have to be in the military to mentor.  Please help us spread the word that we need volunteers now more than ever!  The pandemic has given us all a reminder of how much we need human connections, and the Big Brothers Big Sisters program is all about facilitating relationships for kids who need support and guidance to navigate all the challenges life throws at them. 

This is a link to the Big brothers Big Sisters training calendar – we have both virtual and in-person information sessions happening weekly where anyone can learn more about being a mentor.  Take a look.  

A curbside social distancing concert series in my neighborhood

Pre-concert snack tradition with Zoe 

I'm sitting in the lawn chair I brought to the front yard of my friend's Kelly & Billy Haynie's house (social distancing of course) inspired to write about how awesome it's been that the “After Hours Band” has been playing free neighborhood concerts every Thursday night during the pandemic. 

It’s a balmy night with a slight breeze. Cars line their street. This is my 4th time out, but I think it’s Thursday #7 for the band. There are lightening bugs in the trees, and kids running around with flashlights, weaving in and out of the little family and friend groups scattered across sidewalks and adjacent lawns. Lots of people are on lawn chairs, others on the curb, a few have brought Styrofoam coolers. There’s a dancing couple, 2 teenagers on a couch that’s clearly been dragged out for this special curbside concert, and a lighted stand holding someone’s smart phone recording everything on Facebook Live for those who can’t venture out. The band greets everyone who tunes in, physically and digitally. They’re clearly having a good time. We are too. Thanks, guys. You are everything America needs today.

The music is good, the instruments and speakers are set up carefully and effectively in the doorway of Bill and Kelly’s house. There are 5 band members and a sound guy, and Kelly is the Band Manager (official or unofficial I’m not sure, but Billy says she’s in charge). ;)

They cover lots of songs that are definitely of my generation, but my 18 year old daughter sings along to most of them. Here are ones I remember:

• Lots of Eagles, which I love, like “Take it Easy,” what a great song 
• Joe Walsh’s “Rocky Mountain Way,” 
• Tom Perry’s “Breakdown,” 
• Many Elvis tunes (Blue Suede Shoes, Don’t Be Cruel)
• Johnny Cash (Folsom Prison Blues), and 
• Eddie Rabbit (I can't remember which song they played, but it was enjoyable.)

Zoë got very excited about “I Wanna be Sedated,” by The Remones, and the songs most likely to inspire couples to take to the street-dance-floor were “Amarillo by Morning,” or my personal theme song these days, “I’m Much Too Young (to feel this damn old).”  The band also usually plays “The Break-Up Song,” which has special meaning to them from when they started playing together, and “Suspicious Minds," Kelly’s favorite (I love that one too).

Every once in a while, an audience member goes up to guest sing. Tonight, someone did a wonderful, spirited rendition of “When Will I Be Loved,” by Linda Ronstadt. Last week, Zoë sang "Desperado," by the Eagles, another one of my favorites. 

They usually play from 6:30 or 7 til 8:30 or 9. It’s still light out when they start singing, but as the sun sets, the sky dims and the lights come on in the trees. It's beautiful. Tonight, even the pizza delivery guy slowed down to listen as he drove carefully down the street.  

Personally, I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be. Pandemic or no pandemic. 

This is just a small tribute to the After Hours Band: Thanks for coming out to play, to make our week a little better in these crazy times. I hope you enjoyed us as much as we enjoyed you. You guys are the best! 

See Video we took of the band here: https://vimeo.com/422645480

More on the band here: https://linktr.ee/afterhoursbandsa

Imagine if my Mom and Dad had acted like our leaders today

I’m really stressed out about how our leadership can’t manage to work together even when there’s a life and death pandemic going on. Last night I heard one of our local leaders say in a press conference that one of our state leaders made a bad decision. It made me squirm. 

Shouldn't they have consulted first about what to tell us all!?  So as not to incite confusion?  Or division? 

Imagine what it might have looked like if my mom and dad had acted like that. Kind of like this, maybe? 

Me, to my 3 younger brothers and sister: “Let’s go out and play.”

My Brother: "Are we allowed?"

My Sister: "Let’s ask Dad."

Me: "OK." 

Us, to Dad: "Can we go out and play?"

Dad: "It’s not good. Lots of danger out there. Mom, what do you think?" 

Mom: "Oh, let them go out. What can happen?" 

Dad: "A lot. A lot can happen."*

Mom: "Oh go on kids, go play." 

Dad: "No, kids, don't go."

Me, and my siblings, looking at each other smugly: These people are idiots and know nothing. 

Us conferring in the front yard after this useless guidance: 

Me: "Let’s go out and play!"

Sister: "But Mom said..."

Brother: "But Dad said..." 

Me: "Let's go!" 

Siblings: "OK!"

And off we would go, for better or worse.

I’m thinking this whole thing could have looked much differently, if our leaders were more on the same page and could work together more effectively. Maybe it could go like this: 

Us, to Dad: "Can we go out?"

Parents (after consultation): "You can go out, but only to the end of the street, and here is why." 

Us:  "OK." **

Is it too much to ask that our elected leaders work together? Is it too much to ask them to put aside their differences, and stop with the finger-pointing and name-calling, and blaming each other for everything, and to help us all through this unprecedented crisis? Is it too much to ask for leaders I can be inspired by? Leaders who don’t call each other idiots? Leaders who don’t accuse each other of trying to kill Americans with bad policy, which I just cannot imagine is true on either side. 

Maybe I’m old and idealistic, and simplifying the issue, implying that people are like children, but this is how too much of our leadership feels to me today: like bad parents.  

____________________________________________________

FOOTNOTES

*This was the 80's, and Stranger Danger fear was absolutely RAMPANT. 

**One of my brothers still might have ventured off the street despite being told not to. My sister may even have stayed home.  Because not everyone does what they are told, a lot of people are even more cautious than told to be, and with good leadership people feel more secure.  Also, Stranger Danger was not valid - look it up. This is not a political statement. And finally, actual good parenting is a much bigger topic than the pandemic, I'm afraid, and the subject of at least two prior blog posts of mine: one, two. 

A bit of normalcy

Traditions have never been more important than today.  I started this blog 7 years and 115 posts ago specifically to write about family traditions.  I've shared how important photos and parties and presents and music and holidays and a really special stuffed animal are to our family over the years.

This is why when I finally found a reliable egg dealer* in these COVID times, I went there 3 days in a row to get enough eggs for Zoë to be able to dye them for Easter. It was great. Just wonderful. She, in her typically witty fashion, made Corona, Quarantine, Lysol and Wash Your Hands eggs along with the traditional family names.  I can't wait to make them into Rainbow Egg Salad next week. Zoë has had a really great attitude during this crisis, for which I am very grateful, but she has her sad and mad moments.  I really wanted Easter weekend to feel like a bit of normalcy in all the anxiousness. So we did all the things - bringing Bramble, the stuffed rabbit, in for egg dyeing, finding baskets on Easter morning, and over-eating chocolate for breakfast. Her dad was even dressed for church when he came over to pick her up for lunch.

As a high school senior, she has already missed so much, including her 18th birthday, her UIL One-Act play theater competition, senior directed plays (which she had been looking forward to doing for 3 years), senior superlatives, theater banquet, her Summa Cum Laude ceremony, and getting her braces off.  We also just heard that both colleges she is considering have canceled freshman orientation and are creating an on-line check in instead. So lame. We are still waiting to see if graduation will even happen, but her graduation trip to NYC to see the Broadway play, Beetlejuice is now off too as Broadway is closed through at least mid-June.**

It really is such a loss of so many important rights of passage.  Just when all the hard work was pretty much done and seniors could relax and enjoy their last few months of high school, they went on lock down, like prisoners.  No proms, no parties, no closure on a period of their life that lasted for 13 years. That closure of childhood is so important for embarking on the next phase - endless adulthood filled with overwhelming responsibility. I think I am even sadder than she is because I am more aware of the depth of the loss.

So today, we surrounded ourselves with chocolate and bunnies and family memories, which when all of this is over, we will still have, for years to come. I'm not sure how all this social distancing will end, but I have already started thinking about what I can do over the summer to provide that closure for Zoë.  For now, she is very distracted with Animal Crossing. I bought her a Switch for her birthday. At the time I thought I was wasting $200, because she never had time for video games before, but it has actually been worth ten times its weight in gold to distract her in the lock down.  She is also playing with her sister, Lacey, in Connecticut, which is really sweet.

I can't make up for everything she has missed, but I can do my best to create new memories and traditions and reasons to celebrate and be grateful for all the things we have in our lives to enjoy.  Yesterday she shared the memory of the time in elementary school when she first heard that she was in the Class of 2020. She said: "I thought that was so cool, but who knew it would be such a disaster." That is just too sad of an ending for me. I will figure something out once this is all over if I have to spend my savings to do so.

But for now, I am letting her eat chocolate, play Animal Crossing and stay up late as much her heart may desire.

Happy Easter.

Hard at work 

Traditions

Most Witty

Bramble - this is his favorite holiday

Lacey and Ariel eggs

Easter morning

FOOTNOTES

*Target at 281 & Bitters, San Antonio, TX always has eggs. Limit 1 per. 

**Although Eddie Perfect tweeted me when I expressed our sadness about the play's cancellation, which was way cool.