Sunday, August 22, 2021
Off to college
Monday, June 14, 2021
I can’t ever give blood
Blame Mad Cow Disease.
I was 22 years old when I moved to England in 1988 and little did I know that because of the 3 years I would spend there, I would never be able to donate blood in my lifetime.
I’m not sure if I ever gave blood in the few years I would have been eligible to do so prior to the “Mad Cow” prohibition. I think I might have. But I had a lot of needles in my veins over 14 childbearing years with persistent gestational diabetes and the subsequent “pre”-diabetes. I may just be remembering those many, many vials of blood.
The first memory I have of problems donating blood was in 1999. They asked me if I’d ever been to England and I said yes, so they asked me to “come back later.” They weren’t sure when would be a good time. They did say it had something to do with mad cow disease, which didn’t freak me out at the time as much as I think it should have. I was young then and felt indestructible, of course.
The next memory I have is from 2002, soon after I had my daughter, Zoe, at a blood drive in San Antonio, Texas for my employer. They gave me a questionnaire to fill out and one of the questions it asked was if I had lived in the UK between 1980-1996. (Later the questionnaires would narrow it to having lived 6 months or longer in the UK.) My answer was yes - right in the thick of that - 1988-1991. And so I was told definitively that I was not allowed to donate because of the risk of mad cow disease.
I tried to donate a few times after that over the years, but the answer has never changed. Once I was touring a blood bank as part of a leadership group and they said I’d probably never be able to donate blood because the restrictions were permanent.
Of course I’ve researched this mad cow disease, but I have to say that I’ve ever really been alarmed. My oldest child has researched too, as she is also prohibited. I remember her telling me once that we will probably both (and her dad) die of mad cow dementia, because the effects take a long time to manifest. But she also, doesn’t seem too worried. 232 people have died of it, since 1980. Is that that bad? 🧐
We didn’t eat a lot of British beef while we lived in England. Not because we were worried about Mad Cow Disease, although I do remember reading about it at the time. People were a little freaked out, not because of its effect on people though, but because of all the horrible sad cow deaths. Poor cows. That’s all that story was at the time, at least from what I remember. Otherwise I’d have had a better reason to refuse to eat at Wimpy’s Burgers when we were traveling than that it was kind of gross (but then there really wasn’t much choice).
England isn’t known for great cuisine. We bought nearly all of our food from the military base commissary. We ate “on the economy” mostly when traveling or on a night out to the local pub. I totally fell in love with Indian food over those 3 years in England. Just delicious. If I ever go back to visit, I hope the Swaffham Tandoori place is still open. I’d order all my favorites at once. But only the chicken dishes.
I remember being kind of grossed out by most English food, especially pub food that sat out for hours, or even days, in display cabinets. Spotted duck and toad in the hole and all those meat pies and puddings. Ew. I did like some Shepard’s pie and scotch eggs, which can be pretty yummy. I have a very vivid memory of picking someone up at the back door of a pub once or twice and seeing a cat drinking from a pot of stew on the stove. Not to mention we had a friend who sold deer road kill to the pub and I just couldn’t handle the thought of being served that for dinner. Also, the bar top was always covered in beer soaked yeasty smelling towels that probably rarely got a wash. A bacteria smorgasbord. Not that that stopped anyone from having a pint. Including myself. But, as it turns out, it wasn’t the hepatitis infested pubs that turned out to be the danger for us. It was the farmland’s grassy fields of cows. Mad cows. It will be pretty ironic if I end up dying from eating food I didn’t even like or want to eat in the first place.
During the COVID pandemic, we heard that certain restrictions on mad cow disease prohibitions for donating blood were being lifted due to increased need for blood, but whatever those loosened restrictions were, they were not the one(s) that prevent me, and my oldest daughter, Ariel who spent most of her first three years in England, or my ex husband and all of our friends from those days, from donating blood. We still cannot.
Here is what our research shows about the disease: "It can take up to 50 years for an infected person to show symptoms. There are suspected links between Alzheimer's and mad cow disease. Its long incubation period is called a silent period of infection. It damages the central nervous system silently and progressively over time for years until it kills you.
😳
Once a cow starts to show symptoms, it gets sicker and sicker until it dies, usually within two weeks to six months. There is no treatment and no vaccine to prevent it.
As of 2019, 232 people worldwide are known to have become sick with this disease, and unfortunately, they all have died. It’s 100% fatal.
It is thought that they got the disease from eating food made from cows sick with BSE. Most of the people who have become sick lived in the United Kingdom at some point in their lives. Only four lived in the U.S., and most likely, these four people became infected when they were living or traveling overseas.”
I’m writing this because I was recently tagged in social media in a post urging me to donate blood due to shortage. “But, I can’t,” I thought for the hundredth time. And was inspired to tell the story of the why. Maybe one day the restriction will be lifted.
Or maybe I’m on my way to dying a slow, painful death of brain and spinal cord deterioration. I guess it’s a good thing I can’t pass that on.
| A beautiful river that ran by our house in England. There were no cows. |
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
Turtle Boat Meetings
They say that looking forward to something is as good as doing it. My three daughters and I are planning a 12 day trip around Colorado and Utah this summer, and the planning meetings have so far been as enjoyable for me as I know the trip will be.
Last summer, two of my daughters and I made a 12 day road trip from Cheyenne, Wyoming down through Colorado and New Mexico and ending in El Paso, Texas. The pandemic conditions meant a lot of things were closed, and my anxiety levels were pretty high. I’m glad we did it, though, because my 18 year old daughter had just missed out on all the fun of a senior year of high school. What better things to distract her with than Mountain Ghosts and Desert Aliens, which was the theme of our trip.
This year’s theme is, somewhat inexplicably, Turtle Boat. I think it’s the name of a restaurant we have in the itinerary? Maybe. It’s definitely the name of the highly detailed Google Sheets tool we have been using to plan the trip. There’s a tab for each component of the trip, from the Attractions we want to see and do, the Places we will sleep, the Restaurants where we will eat (one is called Turtle Boat, I believe)and the Homework we have after each meeting. At one point there was a separate sheet just for deciding which Airbnb we would stay in while visiting Denver.
My oldest daughter is the author of the Google sheets document. She’s a planner and an organizer. My middle daughter keeps track of our homework assignments and our meeting dates. She also likes order and harmony. I’m probably the worst at doing my homework on time, and I’m definitely not the most organized person. My youngest has to be cajoled into paying attention in meetings by the middle child, because she’s addicted to Twitter these days, but she definitely does all her homework. Even if she found an Ice Cave for us to get excited about that has no ice in it whatsoever. 😉
We meet on FaceTime in the late afternoon/evenings for meetings that are on my calendar for an hour but generally last for 2-3. As someone who hates meetings and despises Zoom, how can I love Turtle Boat FaceTime so much?
Last summer, Ariel had planned the trip mostly herself. I loved that all I had to do was go along for the ride. As someone with way too much responsibility going on in my professional life, I really love just going with the flow in my personal life, when I can. I would ask Ariel, “what are we doing tomorrow,” and she had all the details at her fingertips. Ah, bliss. I’m really looking forward to this summer’s trip being the same.
We are wrapping up the final details (and it’s only the end of May). We’ve got all of our Airbnb’s lined up, most dinner reservations made and attractions tickets bought, flights booked, and rental car reserved.
I’m gonna have to come up with new reasons to convene Turtle Boat meetings through June and early July because the planning is almost as fun as the trip itself.
Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Unmasking the Anti-Masker problem
As a liberal I’ve been frustrated for years by the “problems” some people on the other side are always telling me are so bad. Like the war on Christmas, prayer in schools being prohibited, the left not supporting veterans, voter fraud, someone taking all their guns away etc etc.
“These things are not really problems,” I’ve railed and railed. But my protests were in vain because the people who believe these are huge problems, believe this very strongly. They don’t need evidence. They’ve create compelling narratives that have become evidence in itself. It’s an insidious cycle.
And just when I was becoming desensitized enough that all these fake problems weren’t making me so crazy, the pandemic started, and I’ve had to watch the left do the exact same kind of thing. Specifically with the whole “anti-masker” issue. I say this isn’t really an issue. Pretty much everyone is freaking wearing a mask, I insist. But those who believe in the anti-masker problem do not need evidence proving it is a huge problem. They point to someone they saw in the grocery store whose mask slipped below their nose and insist this is a conspiracy of epic proportions. Or they share a meme on Facebook and there you have it.
Many people firmly believe that cases are rising because of all the anti-maskers. They laugh derisively, contemptuously at me when I ask where is the evidence of this. They scream from their social media platforms WEAR A MASK (where they are more than likely preaching to the choir if this was actually a huge issue since unfriending anyone who doesn’t feel the same way has become a much bigger problem in general than anti-maskers).
I want to be clear that I wear a mask wherever I go. I support trying to stop the spread of respiratory droplets in any way we can. And I believe most people are like me. Do we love wearing masks? No. Do some people on the right use the mask issue as a piece in their narrative to “prove” that the left wants to “control them?” Sure. But they’re still wearing masks in the grocery store, and in restaurants and anywhere else it’s required.
I know this won’t convince anyone who believes anti-masking is a huge problem. Nothing I’ve ever said before about fake huge problems has ever changed anyone’s mind. Just for writing this, I’ll be accused of being a secret Republican or of not caring that thousands are dying of the virus or of just being stupid and/or uninformed. But I’m willing to bet when we look back on this it’ll be as evident as hindsight usually is that the virus didn’t spread because of a huge anti-masker movement.
So, what’s my point? I guess it just frustrates the hell out of me that when we focus so much energy on fake problems, real problems get ignored. And we have a lot of real problems. If everyone started screaming about a real problem from their social media platforms the way they do about masks, maybe we could bring serious attention to an issue that needs serious attention. Maybe we could replace WEAR A MASK! with something like-
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE!
or
NO ONE SHOULD LIVE IN POVERTY!
INCREASE MINIMUM WAGE NOW!
TAX REFORM IS WAY OVERDUE!
STOP GERRYMANDERING!
WE NEED TERM LIMITS!
If we could vote on a new slogan, my personal favorites would include—
PUT KIDS FIRST!
FIND COMMON GROUND!
LEARN HOW OUR GOVERNMENT WORKS!
Food for thought Update to this post:
One of my favorite reporters did a post on a recent event at our Alamodome in which he reported that 10 citations were given to people not wearing masks and 7 more people left or were removed without citations during the event. The capacity ceiling for the event was 11,000, so if 17 people were unmasked, that’s less than 1% of 1% unmasked (at capacity), but unless the place was practically empty and these 17 people represented a large majority in attendance, the numbers still don’t add up to a huge anti-masker problem. I know people with excel spreadsheets could whip up a “projection” of how many people these 17 could potentially infect, but since everyone else was masked, it still doesn’t add up to a huge problem. The bigger issue here should really be this: With city ordinances in place prohibiting groups of 10 or more indoors or outdoors, why in the world did this event even occur?!
Wednesday, December 23, 2020
Christmas Joy
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| The "main" tree in the formal living room |
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| The tree in the living room |
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| The loft/library tree |
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| I can even see two trees from the kitchen. #love |
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| The front yard |
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| Me and Zoe in the front yard |
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| The Foyer Village |
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| The Loft Village |
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| The china cabinet |
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| The cedar chest |
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| The dining room |
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| The Kitchen |
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| My bedroom |
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| The loft |
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| The fireplace |
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| Santa's Coat Rack |
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| More pictures |
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| More knick-knacks |
Thursday, December 17, 2020
Tiktok Therapy: A very Joyful Rant
For so long I resisted Tiktok. I suspected it would turn out be as unnecessary as Snapchat is, the most overrated text messaging app of all time. When my daughter would look at it on it on her phone it seemed filled with inane videos of nothing. I made fun of it. Oops.
Because boy, was I so totally wrong. Completely. Tiktok is my favorite entertainment app ever. And now that I’m a convert, daughter Zoë has graciously avoided saying “I told you so” even once. She’s the epitome of the caring, tolerant Gen Z generation all the way.
I can’t remember why I finally
downloaded the app. I wish I could. I heard someone recently say they
downloaded it around the time Trump was threatening to ban it just so they
could have it (in case). That may have contributed, but I feel like I’d already
been scrolling through videos at that point. But it really doesn’t matter
because I became hooked pretty much instantly. Ultimately, I think there is one major
primary reason I decided to get it: because social media (in fact pretty much all
media) had become unbearable for me leading into the election. I was looking
for a happy, mindless escape, and I found it!
I felt like I did when FB first came out and I connected with all my old friends and family who lived far away. It was fabulous back then (not filled with negativity and conspiracies and judgement and superiority like now). During the election when I would sit down at the end of the day and tune into Facebook or Twitter to see what my friends were up to all I could really see were politics. Trump-this and Trump-that, pandemic-horror-story-here and pandemic-horror-story-there (and how it was some leader's fault, usually Trump). This was NOT what I needed after a day at work. I don't watch much TV and while I read a lot of books in my free time, I needed something less hard. ;)
The first videos I saw on Tiktok
were what Zoë later told me are “Dance Tiktok.” I was mesmerized. I found it
highly entertaining. The more I “liked” these videos, the more poured into my
feed. Young people energetically dancing - and teaching others how to dance (so
much moon walking!) restored my faith in Gen Z, a group I was worried didn’t
know how to dance at all. Again - I could not have been more wrong.
Most of the dancers were men.
Good looking men. I think this is what led to to more and more attractive men
in my “for you “ feed. Is there a Really-nice-looking-guy Tiktok? I think I’m
in it. This probably also led me to “Dating over 50” Tiktok which is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Men and women sharing dating horror stories with humor and
intelligence. I just love it.
Next came Cat Tiktok. There is
nothing more soothing (to me) than watching a cute baby kitten that had been
abandoned, rescued by the video creator drinking from a bottle for the first
time for 60 long, satisfying seconds. Oh em gee, squeal, like, share, coo,
scroll to the next video. Repeat. Ingenious Cat Tiktok is also pretty enjoyable.
It didn’t stop with just cats
though. Anything furry and cute is good fun too. The videos where someone
teaches a small animal like a squirrel to do things on command. What?! More
more more please!
I also love these Tiktoks:
- Easy recipe Tiktok
- Gift wrapping Tiktok
- North American husband (lololol)
- Joke routine lip syncs
- Make up Tiktok- I don’t even need to try them - it’s enough to live vicariously through their epic art
- Hair cutting/curling/styling - ditto
- Unemployed wine guy
- Life hacks (I-saw-it-on-Tiktok Tiktok) like how to put on a duvet cover, which was mind blowing at my age (How-did-I-not-know-this-already Tiktok)
I even found a secret Santa gift on Tiktok of a prank meowing cat that was so fun to see play out at my work place. I also love the videos where the creator highlights something totally random that I totally agree with like this one.
So my Tiktok review is this: The
creativity! The humor! The intelligence! The clever and entertaining shit
people come up with is just amazing. I can mindlessly scroll through Tiktok without
a care in the world for hours laughing (days if I let myself), just fucking
delighted.
Thank you, Tiktok creators. You have
restored my faith in social media.
Thursday, August 6, 2020
Double Your Money in in the Richmond Challenge for Big Brothers Big Sisters
– Jack & Laura Richmond
Founding board member, Harriette Furino, me, Julio Manso, former Little Brother and 2015 Board Chair with Jack and Laura Richmond
In 1984, I was a high school senior. I didn’t know it, but so was Wade Richmond, the 18 year old son of Jack and Laura Richmond of the Richmond Family Foundation. I never knew Wade and only learned about his tragic passing when I first met Jack Richmond in 2014.
We were in the midst of a capital campaign at Big Brothers
Big Sisters of South Texas in 2014, and I was introduced to Jack by our
campaign consultant. While waiting for
him in his conference room at that first meeting, I read Wade’s story, and
although 30 years had passed, I was struck with sadness that I had gone on to
live a full life after high school, while Wade had not. He died from a seizure at the age of 18.
So when Jack asked us during that meeting if we wanted to participate
in the $100,000 Richmond Foundation matching Grant Challenge the following year
in 2015, I was deeply honored to accept. I knew that I was going to be raising
money not only for the children in our program, but for Wade – to continue his
legacy of support for the angels among us.
As a parent, I can’t think of anything worse than losing a
child. Jack and Laura Richmond lost their
beloved son on the cusp of Wade’s adulthood. I was truly inspired by how they
moved forward after that heartbreak, to form the Richmond Family Foundation in
1998, and then the Wade Richmond Foundation a few years later. They turned their tragedy into a world of
opportunity for thousands of children and families served by all the nonprofits
who have benefited from their matching challenge grants since 1998.
We raised over $100,000 for the 2015 challenge, and one of the proudest moments of our capital campaign for me was when Jack and Laura came out to our old building downtown to present us with a check.* We finished our capital campaign the following year and moved in to our Mentoring Center in October 2016. Since then we have been able to implement all the program enhancements we told Jack about that first day in his conference room.
Jack passed away earlier this year, right before COVID hit, but in 2019 he had once again invited us to participate in his Challenge, for August 2020. And it turns out that if there was ever a year that Big Brothers Big Sisters needed a $100,000 matching grant – it would be this one.
Fundraising has taken a big hit in COVID. Big Brothers Big Sisters has had to cancel
all of its annual fundraising events, and revenue is down in every budget category. We are anticipating a year end deficit of
anywhere between 10-21% of projected 2020 revenue.
One of the ways we
hope to close this gap is through the Richmond Matching Campaign in August
2020. During August, we will be
asking everyone to donate to this campaign, and their money will be doubled by
the foundation!
Also happening in August is our new fundraising event: Car Wash for Kids Sake. Anyone who donates to this event in August will also have their donation doubled. You can visit our website to learn about the Richmond Challenge or here to find out more about the Car Wash.
We are determined to meet our matching goal and receive another one of these.
*Everyone knows my favorite thing is a check presentation and I look forward to the one we will be having in September 2020 after all our supporters help us make our $100,000 match. I will miss Jack’s proud smiling face at that one though. May he rest in peace.
BONUS JACK STORY:
Below is a picture of Big Brothers Big Sisters Chief Development Director, Hawthorne Farr with Jack at one of Jack's infamous Luby’s Kiwanis meetings. Hawthorne and I were always happy to speak at these meetings whenever Jack called. He was a true servant.

























